A year in retrospect: A year in Focus

2011 is a year of endless possibilities. I will not let this year come, happen, and leave without allowing it to significantly impact me and the life of others. I am entering the end of the 2010 year and holiday season knowing that a huge and meaningful chapter to my life was written this year and I am expecting nothing but great, God sized things in 2011. 2010 was one of the first years that I actually stuck to several of my New Year’s Resolutions and I am exiting that year glad that my yesterday’s were the today’s that we always put off until tomorrow. Starting a diet is always easier “tomorrow”, being vigilant in prayer and bible reading is always best put off until “tomorrow”, and making life altering decisions are usually put on that proverbial back burner of “tomorrow” as well. What if my “tomorrow” never happened?

In 2010, most of you that follow my Facebook, Twitter, and Blog know that I ran my first ever half marathon. 13.1 miles with 15,000 strangers is nothing to sneeze at for a girl that couldn’t even run 2 miles one year ago. I turned 30; I lost 45 pounds, and, most importantly, saw the vision and calling of God turn from a gestational sized dream into a budding fetus. The dream and calling of the Bridge Church being planted in the Cleveland Metro Area is in full blown pregnancy, excited about its “Grand Opening” birth this spring. We are in our Pre-Launch phase and have seen God perform many miracles and change many lives. I am beyond excited for 2011.

That being said, I’ve evaluated myself and my plans and came up with some goals/resolutions for 2011. If I don’t reach and achieve each and every one, it’s ok, but I am always striving to better myself. In 2010 I read my bible through cover to cover 2 times. In 2011, I am going to devour and eat my bible. Rather than just consuming the word and nibbling on it cover to cover, I am going to journal my way through the New Testament. This means that every day, I will not just be marinating over and reading the Word, but I am going to chew and digest it. I am going to use the SOAP model of journaling that we are doing in our Life Groups to accomplish this. (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer).

In 2010 I began praying Luke 10:2 twice a day. (He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. NIV) Every Christian should be a harvester. We are asking God to raise up disciple makers in the Bridge Church and for God to send us people that we can make disciples who in turn make disciples that make disciples. I am prompted to do this by my cell phone alarm. I have it set to go off at 10:02 Am and 10:02 PM every day. Doing this has changed my perspective, prayer life, and caused some major changes in the Spirit World in my area. If you are reading these random thoughts and are not a Christian or are just a casual God believer and want to know more, please contact me. I assure you that the power of the Word of God and Prayer in your life in 2011 will change your circumstance for the better. In 2011, I have made my “Scripture of the Year” Ephesians 6:18-6:19 inspired by one of Pastor Jonathan’s wonderful sermons. (18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.NIV)
I have now added an alarm to my phone to go off at 6:18 PM daily to remind me. I want to be a mystery revealer in 2011. I do not want to settle for ordinary. I know that the only way I will see the supernatural in my life, my family’s life, and the life of the Bridge Church is to pray without ceasing. These little “alarm clock” prayers are not my only conversations with heaven, but they assure that I am calling to my heavenly Father at all points throughout the day. I know that the amazing things God is wanting to do in the Western Cleveland suburbs will be through the hard work of “elbow grease”, but cannot and will not happen through just human hard work and effort alone. God wants all the glory and I will assure that He and He alone gets it.

On a personal level, I’d like to lose about 9 more pounds. However, if I don’t, I am healthier now than I have been in a decade and will be happy to maintain what I achieved in 2010. I’d also like to take that half marathon and turn it into a marathon. Jonathan and I have decided we are going to sign up for and run the Akron Marathon in September. A full glorious 26.2 miles awaits me. I am just amazed that I am even typing this. I’ve never been an athlete but have felt like one for the first time in my life in 2010. I cannot reiterate enough to you the power and importance of exercise in your life. I feel like a changed person. Much of the stress and frustration that we carry around can be dealt with and eliminated through taking care of your body. After all, if you are a Christian reading this, you know your body is the temple of God. Don’t pollute the temple! If you aren’t a Christian, know that carrying around mountains of fat never helped anyone. I am not some health guru, health evangelist, or personal trainer person. I still eat copious amounts of ice cream, skittles, and Five Guys. I’m not perfect. I do, however, value my health.

I would resolve to blog and write more, but I did that in 2010 and failed miserably. I love writing. The cathartic experience of putting thoughts out in the universe for others to read is second to none. However, the reality of having 2 small children, starting a church, holding numerous positions and responsibilities at the church, taking care of my physical health, taking care of my husband, volunteering at the school and in the community, and living life with Missional Purpose and Intent is too great. If I do a lot of writing, then I’ll do it. If I can’t, I can’t. I know one day I won’t wake up at 6 AM daily to 2 snuggly, yet demanding and loud boys and instead, I’ll find the sadness and solitude of silence, and then I can write. By then people may actually listen to what I have to say too because I’ll be full of years.

In 2010, I hit the milestone of turning the big 3-0! In 2011, I hit the milestone of celebrating 10 years of marriage with the love of my life and my best friend, Jonathan. It has been an amazing ride. We have been through things in our marriage that few young people ever have to deal with and have come out victorious. We have encountered some of the most major life stressors that people deal with in an entire lifetime, condensed in just a few short years. I’m so thankful that God saw fit to put us together for the wild, crazy, fun, stressful, invigorating ride of life.

In 2011 both of my boys will be in school. My oldest, Reese, is already in Kindergarten and will enter first grade. My youngest, Gentry, will start pre-school in the fall. The pre-school is just a 2 day program, but puts the speed of life into perspective. I always dreamt of being a mother and having babies and I’ve had 2 and they aren’t babies anymore!! That being said, I’m going to start focusing on the plight of mothers and infants in the US and around the world. I want to give more, do more, and help more. I have been blessed beyond belief and it’s time for me to crank up the level of blessing that I dole out to others. I already feel like Jonathan and I are givers, but you can’t out give God. I would like to every year take on a new project or cause that will outlive us.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Truth be told, this was more for my own good. I learned long ago that if you don’t put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and outline your goals and plans, they will never come to fruition in your life.

Godly Heroes: A Hero is in You!

This blog is an excerpt from my talk at the Ohio District Ladies Day Service.

The word Hero conjures up a variety of mental images. If I did an opinion poll today, there would be a vast array of opinions as to what a hero is. To some of you, the word hero brings about the thoughts of a specific person or event, to others it is a set of characteristics and a specific type of person, and to others, sadly, some would say that heroes don’t exist in this life. As the mother of 2 small boys, I am well acquainted with society’s concept of a hero. Masked crusaders, caped avengers, and web spinning good guys are constantly on a collision course at my house. At any given moment, I can be spun into a web, wrestled to safety from a bad guy, and whisked away from danger to a castle. Any object can be transformed from ordinary to extraordinary on these hero expeditions. A simple towel becomes a cape filled with mysterious, world changing super powers.

As women we are bombarded with another set of images from society on what it means for us to be a hero. We must be SuperMOM, SuperWife, and on a SuperCareerTrack. We have to have spotless homes, stylish, clean, polite children, Food Network worthy meals on the table, and we must do all of this with fit/trim/sexy bodies that will make us feel strong and make our husbands happy and proud. The quest to be a hero is daunting in 21st century America. A sports figure will be called hero in the news while living a self-indulgent and self-centered life and be paid 98 million dollars for their skills on a basketball court, while a volunteer firefighter quietly risks their life for the lives of others, dodging fire, flames, and unforeseen adversity, and does so with no financial renumeration.

As I sat down to think about what makes a Godly hero, I had scriptural examples flood into my mind.
• Jael proved to be a strong, determined woman who God used to defeat the enemy of Israel. The Bible praises her calling her most blessed for killing the enemy king
• Jocebed, Moses mother, nursed him and trained him in the knowledge and fear of the Lord and instilled enough in him by the age of 5 that when she had to give him up to Pharaoh’s daughter, she had already placed enough faith in her son that he was willing to suffer the afflictions of the righteous than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season
• Mary, the mother of Jesus, was willing to take on the shame and ridicule of an unwed pregnancy, knowing and pondering in her heart that she was birthing the messiah. She endured persecution for His namesake before He ever even was revealed as human flesh.

The bible is filled with examples of heroes of the faith, women worthy of honor, women whose children rise and call her blessed. Chances are in your life, you won’t be a Jael. God will not ask you to drive a literal spike through the head of an adversary. We, as New Testament believers wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spirits and principalities and powers in this world.
When thinking of modern day heroes of the faith and people that I look to as Godly examples, I immediately had a scripture come to mind. It isn’t a scripture that one would commonly go to in order to define heroism, but it is the set of scriptures from which we should derive the mission statement of our lives. If we want to be used of God and contend earnestly for the faith that was delivered to the saints, we need to pattern our lives after

Matthew 28:19-20. (NIV)
19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

This set of verses lays out for us the great commission. If we aren’t living the great commission, we really can’t even be called children of God much less heroes of the Faith.

A Hero is full of the GO: Therefore Go
A Hero of faith is willing to step out and do whatever God asks them to do. This doesn’t always mean you have to go to another country, another state, another city, or even another neighborhood. This means that you are just willing to have some of that Get up and Go. Ain’t no one gonna break your stride, aint’ no one gonna slow you down! Gotta keep on moving!!! Sometimes with the responsibilities and realities of life, it is difficult to always be “on your go”. A hero of the faith is always willing though and is there to listen to the voice of God and if that voice says to go to Giant Eagle instead of Kroger’s, it goes. Being a soul winner is not a one-time event. It usually doesn’t even really effectively happen at big crusades. Soul Winning is just always being ready to give an account for the power and the joy in you and your willingness to spread the seed of the gospel. Johnny Appleseed became an American Hero through his kind and generous ways by putting apple trees all throughout the mid-west and the United States. He simply did this by spreading seed everywhere that he went. He planted nurseries and put fences around them to keep the animals out. A hero of the Faith is simply a spiritual Johnny Appleseed. The tree and the fruit that comes forth isn’t your responsibility, but it is God’s. Just don’t be afraid to constantly be about your Fathers business and spreading hope and truth into your community. Be a GO saint. One day I felt an immense drawing to visit an area mall that I don’t normally go to and have my kids play in that play place. I really didn’t feel like doing it. I often feel that my life is as a full time entertainment and event planner with my 2 children as my CEO’s. I obeyed that urging though and happened on a single mother of a 4 year old daughter that started pouring herself out to me right there. I had never met this woman, but she was hungry for change in her life. At only 24 years old she has already been in AA for 5 years and has a laundry list of addictions and situations that she is working to overcome. I have since become acquainted with her and she stays in touch and desires to be part of the Bridge Church. I was blown away by God that day. After walking with him for 30 years you would think I wouldn’t be surprised by His ways but I am. I want that get up and Go for the kingdom.
Acts 1:8 But ye SHALL receive power after that the holy ghost is come upon you and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem and all Judea and in Samaria and in the uttermost parts of the earth.

You don’t have to GO too far to make a full impact. Be on your Go in your Jerusalem and it will spread.

A Hero is full of the MAKE: make disciples of all nations
A true hero of faith is into building people up and making them all that God desires for them to be. We live in a broken world where people hear negative things every second of everyday. The last thing they want to do is meet a Christian or attend a church that makes them feel depressed! The Joy of the Lord is our Strength. A hero of the faith is into helping people, healing people, growing people, and discipling people. A hero of the faith is willing to share their knowledge of the things of God with somebody. A hero doesn’t desire to come across as the expert but is willing to share and grow others up to their level. The true Heroes of the Faith model themselves after Jesus. He poured of himself and mentored 12 disciples and those closest to him so they could work in harmony in one mind and one accord towards accomplishing the greater will of Christ.

A Hero is all about Baptism: A Hero leads people to the water: Baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. (And we know that name is Jesus)

A true hero of the faith is strong in doctrine. While Going and Making, they will not compromise.

Ephesians 4:14-15 14That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; 15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
Galatians 1:8 But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that, which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

To be a hero and grow the body of Christ, you do not have to compromise your message. Jesus said unless a man be born of water and of Spirit he shall not see the kingdom of God. When asked on the day of Pentecost what to do and how to respond to the message that was being preached, Peter brought us the foundational truth of the early church and of our movement

Acts 2:38 Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.


I’m thankful for heroes that believe the message of the cross. I’m thankful for heroes that preached the gospel even when it hurt, even when it brought persecution to them, even when it cost them something, even when it cost them everything, even in countries where it is illegal!!!
The gospel message is HIS death, burial, and resurrection. Oh that I may KNOW Him!!! When we know him in the power of his resurrection and in the fellowship of his suffering, we are on our way to stardom!! If there was a Hollywood walk of fame where the heroes of the faith put their star, those who were not afraid to preach Christ and Him crucified, would be front and center on that walk.

A true Hero of the Faith is a Teacher: Teaching them everything that I commanded you

A Hero of the Faith is on their Go, Making and speaking into others, leading people to baptism and the knowledge of truth, and in the process does it with the heart of a teacher. A teacher is someone who leads, guides, and instructs. Jesus was the great teacher. A teacher does not spread knowledge through harshness and rebuke, but in love instructs. The heart of a teacher is not a heart of judgementalism and phariseeism but someone who speaks the truth in love. A teacher knows that the greatest commandment and the greatest law is love! Because of love, a hero of the faith takes people under their wings and mentors and guides them. The biggest job of a parent is to teach your children all things. We instruct them in life, academics, love, and spirituality. A Hero of the Faith is a Spiritual Parent. A Hero of the faith knows that they need to be in the word of God for growth so they have something to share with others.

NIV 1 Peter 2: 1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

The best part of being a hero of the faith is that we all have the tools in our arsenal to be a HERO. It doesn’t require superhuman strength or supernatural powers, it only requires that we are submissive to the plan and will of God and that we striving to walk in the great commission. Being a hero for God is filled with all kinds of promises that we can stand on. Matthew 28:19-20 didn’t end with imploring us to GO, MAKE, BAPTIZE, and TEACH, but it ended with a promise that we can stand on.

Matthew 28:20
(The Message) I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age."
And surely I am with you always, even to the very end of the age (NIV)
(KJV) and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
So all you Hero’s out there, be encouraged!! God has equipped and empowered you for his service. With his supernatural powers and our natural giftings and abilities, nothing can stop the move of God that is destined to happen. He has already overcome the world!

The Story of my Life

So, it is true. My life is anything but dull. In fact, the life I live really is the stuff that producers look for when casting and writing a reality Television program. While a majority of the so called reality shows are actually scripted, my life would need nothing added to get people to tune in. I have adventure, mayhem, conflict, romance, good food, good fun, good people, challenging situations, and morals to learn with every tale that my life brings me. I’ve recently been reminded that life is nothing if not a very good story. As the protagonist of my own life and the lead character, it is up to me to develop a story worth telling. It is my sole responsibility to live my life in such a way that when the credits roll and the plot line climaxes for the last time, people have observed something worth clapping for, perhaps even something worthy of an awards nomination. This past weekend the story of my life brought me yet another humorous chapter. When life throws curveballs, we can decide to laugh and tweak our story for entertainment value, or become sad, frustrated, upset, and throw in the towel. While the emotions went the full spectrum from laughter to anger, the decided final theme was one of a weekend well played because it will be forever etched in our memory. Murphy was at his best this week and everything that could go wrong, definitely did.

My mother, my aunt, I, and my 2 sons decided we wanted to go to Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the weekend. It is Amish country and they have a magnificent playhouse that puts on spectacular Bible stories. This year the story is “Joseph”, which is one of my sons’ favorite bible characters. The tickets to these shows are far from cheap and non-refundable because they are broadway-esque productions. After leaving North Olmsted 2 hours later than scheduled on Friday, we embarked on the adventure of 3 ladies and 2 babies. The trip there went off without a hitch except the hotel I booked on hotwire was actually in York, PA, 40 minutes from Lancaster instead of the 10 minutes that hotwire claimed, the fact that a 6 hour drive turned into a 12 hour trip due to the numerous stops dictated by middle aged women and toddlers, and the fact that once we finally did stop for dinner, they took an hour to serve us and forgot to bring me my food after everyone else had been served and was finished. On Saturday, the day started well and quickly escalated into crazy. The ankle I had twisted the prior week got sprained and my ankle turned into the size of a tennis ball. We had to get that taken care of and off to the “Plan and Fancy” Amish farm we went. We saw an amazing Amish Experience play/movie/interactive stage and then went to dinner there. Things began to turn south as our supposed Amish dinner, which was overpriced for tourists, turned out to be boxed food. Every place I had eaten in Ohio’s Amish Country was delicious but this place served Kraft macaroni and Cheese and boxed bow tie pasta noodles trying to pass them off as Amish Egg noodles! It was unreal. I have never seen anything like it and I’m surprised in an area with Amish level culinary skills could get any business at all. I sent my noodles and macaroni and cheese back. If I wanted Kraft and generic bow tie, I would go pay $.99 at my local grocer and make it myself. We got back in the car to head to the dramatic production of Joseph.

We got about a mile down the street and pulled into an Amish bakery to grab some dessert on our way and the car totally quit working. We were driving in my mother’s vehicle, so of course, she was panicked. I will say we were thankful it broke down in a parking lot, but the 95 degree, humid day and the fact we were potentially going to lose out on the whole reason for going there, the play, and lose all the money put us all in a frenzy. Not to mention the fact that home was 6 hours away and the hotel was 40 minutes away!! Also, it was Saturday night so no rental car places were open. We called AAA and they were dragging their feet, so my Aunt flagged down some guys on a motorcycle and we found a gray haired lady in the restaurant with a set of jumper cables. We sure looked like a motley crue: 3 ladies, 2 babies, 2 motorbike dudes, and one Mrs. Doubtfire look alike all trying to get my mom’s car to work. Thankfully, the jump worked and we were able to fly into the nearest Pep Boys, 2 miles away, on a wing and a prayer.

The diagnosis is that her alternator and battery had totally fried and we could not drive the vehicle. We were such a mess that the manager of the Pep Boys took mercy on us and loaded the 5 of us up in his car and he drove us to the drama. We were faced with a more serious dilemma though. How were we going to get back to the hotel where we had already checked in and had all of our stuff at and then get back the next day to get the car? We called a taxi and were quoted $70 minimum one way. Thankfully, we came up with the idea of having my Aunt call my Uncle and he connected with an area pastor who so graciously on a Saturday night at 10:30 PM came and picked us up in his church van and drove us the 40 minutes to the hotel. The same church also shuttled us back the next day. Upon arriving back to Pep Boys, we discovered they hadn’t even started working on my mom’s car because the alternator they thought they had in the store was just an empty box!! So, adding insult to injury, we had all of our luggage, hadn’t eaten since the prior day at around 4 PM, and had no vehicle. Thankfully there was a restaurant about ¼ mile down and we drug ourselves there. Finally, after killing 3 hours, her car was done. We left Lancaster and began our long journey home.

Feeling the need to reward themselves for a long weekend, my mom and Aunt insisted we had to have cracker barrel for dinner. So, even though we left super late, we drove 30 minutes OUT OF THE WAY so they could fill their craving. Mind you, there is a cracker barrel 5 minutes from our house. Why couldn’t they have just waited until a different day? So, after leaving Cracker Barrel the GPS said we’d arrive home at 10:30 but that was before nature happened. Tornado like winds, lightening, thunder, and heavy, torrential downpours hit our car. We had to go 35 miles an hour on the interstate because of visibility issues. Reese suddenly woke up out of a dead sleep and said something about his belly hurting. I lovingly told him to go back to sleep and then joked to the rest of the car that it would be the icing on the cake of our chaotic weekend if Reese vomited in the car. It wasn’t even 2 minutes later that he threw up everywhere. It was powerful, massive, and explosive. It went everywhere. All of him, splatters on Gentry, and splatters on my Aunt. Therefore, when we did arrive at home at 11:30 PM, I had the honor of cleaning him up, doing laundry, wiping up the car, taking apart his car seat, washing it, and cleaning Gentry up. Needless to say, we were glad to be home and see the sun rise on Monday.
Besides sharing this humorous, but cringe worthy story with you for entertainment value, there is a moral to this story. The moral is, you can’t control life. It isn’t up to you to control it. If I blogged about every weekend or event that played out in my life with this same outline, I would bore you. I am a magnent for uncomfortable, funny, and strange situations. I am married to Murphy. His law is tattooed on my heart. I pretty much would understand if no one that craved order and control watned to be my friend. My life is especially unpredictable at times. Novel and movie worthy events seem to follow me. Sometimes this frustrates me, but today, I am amused by it. Perhaps God just really enjoys my performances and as the author of my life and the director of my story, he gets great pleasure in watching me act in certain life scenes. Conceivably, I have won academy awards at heavens banquets and will be presented with them at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. As the lead character in my own story, I am just glad to add another chapter.

Death of a Dad

Death is so final. I’m sorry to sit here and tell all of you who just lost somebody extremely close to you, that it never gets any easier. I wish I could say it does. The counselor in me can tell you though, that you can indeed successfully make it through the stages of grief and come out to a degree of normalcy on the other side. I was told by a wise person during my greatest time of grief that time does not heal all wounds, but it will give you the tools you need to handle the wound.

This weekend celebrates 6 years since my dad went into the coma that ultimately claimed his life. It was on Father’s Day Sunday that we sat in the family living room with him for the last time. I wish I could do that day all over again. What could I have said or done differently? He had just been discharged from the hospital that weekend where he was admitted for his long term battle with kidney issues. His transplanted kidney was failing again, but we had been down that road before and had it covered this time. As children, when his kidney first failed, my brother and I were not even considered to be kidney donors. We were too young. This time around though, we were adults and ready to be tested to see who the closest match was and to give him one of our kidneys. Although it was a struggle for us to face again, we had this path routed out and knew we would come out ahead. Life had other plans though.

While he was admitted to the hospital, my father, in his transplanted immune suppressed state, had somehow contracted meningitis. We did not know this until that Father’s Day, 2004, when he was acting drugged in the living room. He could barely stay awake and the man that was a wordsmith and genius, could barely put sentences together. We thought perhaps he was just still a little sick and exhausted. This behavior continued all day, but we had grown rather use to health problems in the Bentley home, so the worst case scenario was not even considered. The Monday after father’s day, I got a call at work to tell me to go to ICU immediately because my dad was dying. I raced out the door, with hardly an explanation to my co-workers or boss. I didn’t care what they thought and could barely comprehend what was even going on. I think at some point I must have picked up Jonathan because he ended up at the hospital with me, but I have little recollection about what happened in those following hours. All I know is that the dad I knew was gone. He was hooked up to Life-support and in a coma. We had to wear surgical gear to even go into him because they didn’t know what strain of meningitis he had. It eventually led to encephalitis and led to complete brain death. During his 3 months in a coma, he came out of the coma for a couple of days and when they put a voice box over his tracheotomy, the first thing he did was to begin singing, “How Great thou Art”. What a great anthem to our heavenly Father and enormous tribute to the kind of man my father was.

I still can’t talk about these moments very easily and even while typing them, the dam I have built around my emotions has broke loose. I had a few treasured moments with him during these days, but still carry around loads of regret. Could I have done something to change the outcome of this? I know, as an intelligent person, that I contributed nothing to his death. I imagine it is just natural to feel guilt and regret about monumental life events that alter the course of our destiny. Could we have prayed more, loved harder, pushed further? I know that logically, I couldn’t have. After a couple of days out of the coma, he went back in it? I still have no idea why. The doctors offered all kinds of explanations and did numerous tests, but they were always telling us something different. Even the doctors couldn’t agree completely. Their theories ranged from West Nile Virus to “fill in the blank” and “you name it they theorized on it”. The one thing they could all agree on though, is that during the 2nd round of coma, he had lost all brain activity. There was no way he was ever coming back.

This giant of a man, this genius of intellect, this warrior for God had renewed his mind for the final time. I ask myself almost daily why he only got 51 years on this earth, but then, almost simultaneously, I give thanks for the 51 years he did have. Not everyone gets the privilege of being raised by a dad of his caliber. I’m thankful that he was there through my entire childhood, on my wedding day, and at all of my academic graduations. Sure, he never got to meet my children, but God, in his mercy, has blessed both my boys with their own giant of a father. If your father is still alive and is even half the man my dad was, please, don’t miss out on celebrating him this weekend.

Fasting

I am not afraid to admit that fasting is my least favorite spiritual discipline. With all of the decadence that surrounds me every time I leave the house, a simple trip to the post office can make my best fasting aspirations falter. Who even knew that Smokey Bones, Famous Dave’s, and even Burger King really smelled that good in the air wafting from restaurant to enclosed car with lightening speed? Smells, sounds, and environmental factors that I don’t even notice on an average day, call out to me when I choose to fast. For a few years I justified my struggle with fasting declaring to myself that fasting is a spiritual gift that some people are just better at than others. While to a degree this may be true, this logic was as faulty as saying exercise isn’t good for everyone, just some. We know that people with health issues, pregnant ladies, and diabetics have to streamline their fasting and use wisdom, but for the rest of us average saints, we really don’t have very many excuses to offer up to God that are legitimate.

I was decent at fasting as a teenager and in my early twenties. In fact, every week I went a minimum of one 24 hour period without food and liquid except water and embarked on my first prolonged fast without food and liquid except water in my very early twenties. I was shocked to find that going 3 plus days with nothing but water really wasn’t as hard as I had imagined. Sure, it was no picnic in the park and sure I wasn’t the most energetic human during these time periods, but I discovered I could do it! Jonathan and I began a tradition of beginning our new years with a prolonged fast, a tradition that we continue and lead our church to do, and I was excited. When I turned 24, I got pregnant with my first child and fasting took a back seat. I do not think it is wise for pregnant women to abstain from food. This may just be my opinion, but I think that God had no problems with that. I went straight from pregnancy to nursing and anyone that has nursed can attest to the fact that your appetite could beat out any Olympic athlete’s appetite. After this period of 2 years of pregnancy and nursing, I found that fasting became the unwanted friend again in my life. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I began to incorporate the weekly 24 hour fast into my life again, but I just couldn’t get back in the swing of extended fasting. Thankfully for me and my flesh, I got pregnant again. Whew!! I was justified. Another two year period of pregnancy and nursing had saved me from this spiritual discipline.

While this blog was not intended to be a confessional, I guess it has become one. I just want to encourage people that it is normal and even okay to struggle sometimes. We are human!!! I was inspired for this blog by my Bible reading this morning. While reading in Genesis, I was struck with a series of verses that I have read numerous times before and that had not stood out to me like they did today. Hagar, Sarah’s maid and Abraham’s mistress was able to say to God, “You see me and I see you”!! She called the spring where she had cried out to God “the God who sees me spring”. This simple revelation by a lowly member of society, a mere maid, who was not only a maid but a fornicator and the incubator for an illegitimate child made me realize that God sees me and all of my randomness. He knows all my insecurities, he knows all my struggles and yet, He sees me! He cares!

I am convinced that this scripture stood out to me because this confessional has a happy ending. The word of God becomes alive and organic in your life and heart when you’re dedicated to spiritual disciplines. I decided at the end of 2009 that I was tired of my excuses and I was tired of just fasting one day a week and that in 2010 I was going to reinstitute a strict fasting discipline in my life. My goal this year is to fast 3-5 day stretches at a time every single month in addition to my day a week. You don’t have to be Moses or Jesus and go 40 day stretches. Fasts like those have to be divinely and spiritually inspired and led and really ought to be under a Doctor’s supervision. I’m happy to say that God has proved himself in these time periods of 3-5 days. It has been unreal to me the doors He has opened, the scriptures He has shown me, and the way my spirit has been overwhelmed. I have had more spontaneous Bible studies with strangers in random places than I have had in years. This, as a side note, works out quite well in my favor since we are starting a church. I have been amazed at the doors to the unchurched that have been opened to me. Certainly giving up that Chipotle Burrito Bowl a few days a month has been worth the God encounters I have had.

I can’t explain to you in the physical why fasting works. It really makes no sense except that studies have proven that people that incorporate fasting into their lives live longer, healthier, and happier. God has a really funny way of proving things in the physical that we should already know in the spiritual. The key to fasting is simple, you must read your bible, pray, and be constantly meditating. If you don’t do these things, fasting is nothing but a way to be really hungry, tired, and crabby. It seems simple, but trust me; I’ve tried a three day fast in which I didn’t pray anymore than I do on a normal day. It was crazy. I justified it because my two toddlers are constantly harassing me and if you think prolonged periods of intercessory prayer are easy when you’re alone with 2 little boys 24/7, you’ve got something else coming! I made a pact with God in addition to my fasting pact in 2010 that my bible reading and prayer life would also improve. They have! God is addicting. The Bible is addicting. Prayer is addicting. Fasting is addicting. I promise. I didn’t believe it either until I had tried. That is why in the book of Acts they said they were “addicted” to the ministry of the saints. I believe it! It is like crack. Go several days having the power of God manifest in your life and prove my point. You’ll never go back to ordinary. I’m 25% of the way through reading my bible cover to cover for the 2nd time this year. From now on, I’m never just going to read my bible through once a year. I use to find this acceptable in my life. No more.

Ministering to and loving others is amazingly easy when it is an overflow of a well of joy that you have dug up in your own life. I challenge you to go beyond ordinary. Really become radical and God will show you, He really is the God who sees! He sees you, now go out and make it a point in your life to really see Him.

As a side note: The book "Fasting" by Jentzen Franklin is a great read explaining reasons for, types of, and ways to fast.

Mother's Day 2010

May the 7^th is a day that holds special significance and meaning to me. True, there are some years where it has an even deeper meaning than others, but for at least 5 years, it has been a day filled with a tornado of emotions. May 7, 2005 was the year that this date changed forever for me. It was at 2AM on May 7, 2005 that I began to go into labor for my first child, my firstborn son Reese. If you know our family dates, you are probably scratching your head because Reese’s birthday isn’t until May 8. Reese decided to show us his strong will early on. The labor started at 2 AM on May 7 and Reese wasn’t delivered until 10:59 PM May 8. Looking back though at those two treacherous days, I have to smile. A part of me feels that this was all a part of Reese’s master plan. You see, May 8, 2005 was mother’s day. That strong will of his is also masked in an unbelievably thoughtful, loving, kind, charming, and intelligent boy. He wanted his mommy to have the best first mother’s day gift ever, the life of my first child, him.

It really was a date for the record books. I had gone into the hospital on May 7 early in the morning and they tracked my contractions all day then sent me home because the labor was going so slowly. Because my husband is a pastor and Mother’s Day is one of those “big”, “significant” church Sunday’s; he did not feel like he should miss the Sunday Morning service. My water had already broken and I had already had two days worth of contractions, and yet I gave him the green light to attend service and speak that morning. He had his cell phone sitting on the podium, waiting for that desperate plea from me that I can’t take it anymore. In retrospect, this was a horrible decision! What if I had delivered Reese at home with no one to help me? It could’ve happened. My water had already broken. I suppose they would’ve just done a TLC reality show special on me if that had happened. Who could’ve predicted such an eventful first mother’s day?

Mother’s Day has always been an extraordinary day for me. For the past 30 years, I have been blessed to have a mother. 30 years ago on April 23, 1980, she gave birth to me, with no pain control medication might I add, and has stuck by my side through the whole ride. Now, as a mother myself, I can see all of the small sacrifices that were hidden from me before. It reminds me of the bible verse that says; “Now we see through a glass darkly, but soon we’ll see.” As children we go through life seeing things, but not really recognizing them. As a mother that was blessed to also have a mother, things have become clear to me in ways that were before, at best, hazy. Who really knew how much work the daily grind of life could be for a mother? Every time my kids fight me about bedtime or cleaning up their toys, I can only be so irritated. It was a mere few decades ago that I was that child testing my independence.

Being a parent, or being an adult that is heavily and lovingly involved in the life of a child is the best representation of Christianity on this earth that I can think of. In a society that keeps blurring the lines of what family really is and what it means to be a family, I’m thankful for the example of a heavenly father on the correct way to treat my children. As mother’s, society still puts most of the pressure of running a household on us. We are expected to be educated with multiple college degrees, hold exciting jobs, move up the career ladder, and still produce children that we singlehandedly care for while juggling homes, careers, significant others, and we are to do this while looking physically fit, gorgeous, put together, stylish, and even sexy! We really face a lot of pressure as women and mothers in this 21^st century world. Even though I view myself as a quasi-feminist in that I believe women should be educated, should have equal employment opportunities, and should receive equal pay for the stuff they do, I can’t help but think life would be simpler if we could return to the era of a one income household. In our quest as women to be viewed as equals in society, we have actually somehow made it so that we aren’t equals at all. In fact, we are expected to be super mom and super women, while the men are just expected to do what they’ve always done. Go to work, bring home money, mow the lawn, and watch sports. The purpose of this blog is not to bash men. In fact, my husband is amazing and I can’t imagine doing life without him. I can’t imagine parenting without him. He goes above and beyond societies expectation for dads and he’s a real father. I appreciate all men that fill that role. The purpose of this blog is to honor women that play a significant role in the life of children. You are a hero!

Whether you are a mother because you conceived and bore a child or because you adopted one as your own or because you have stepped into the life of the children in your community to love, nurture, and grow them, your impact on their life will be unparalleled. There is nothing like the love of a mother when it is displayed in all its glory and in its purest and most natural state. Too often in the Christian world we think of God in all the masculine roles that he plays. He has been given the name Heavenly Father, and while that is a biblical term and while he plays that role, let us not forget that in Genesis it states that both male and female were created in his image. We need to celebrate that through our job as mom, we are displaying the love of Christ and the image of who God is in our children. God’s comfort holds us like a mother’s arms when we fall and it is through his mercy and grace that we can identify our propensity to overlook the faults of our children and defend and encourage them.

Know this mother’s day weekend, that your role as mom is literally fundamental in shaping the next generation of leaders. Your degrees and education and careers and goals can all find harmony in your role as mom. I don’t believe being a mom is an either or choice. I’ll either be a mom or I’ll pursue my goals. They can line up together. Celebrate the life of your children and the lives of the children around you that you impact and know that every time you see a successful adult it is because somebody took the time to sew seeds into their life as a child.

Dedicated to: Reese Bentley Buckland (May 8, 2005) and Gentry Jonathan Buckland (December 11, 2007) who made me a mother and gave me the greatest title I’ll ever hold and to Donna Lynn Whitmore Bentley (Mother) who gave me the chance at life.

Don't Go for Gold

Weeping as she clutched the cold gold medal, Olympian Lindsay Vonn, the USA women’s champion downhill skier in the 2010 Vancouver Winter games, was quoted as saying “I gave up everything for this.” At the age of 25, she has achieved everything she worked for. In a very similar story, eight time consecutive gold medalist in the 2008 Summer Olympic games, Michael Phelps, America’s swimming hero and Olympic great, was quoted as saying, “This is everything I’ve ever wanted to do, everything I’ve dreamed of.” Shortly following, in an interview he gave to Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today Show, Michael fumbled when asked about his future; he was at a loss on what to do. He knew that his focus was his body and told Matt that at the next Olympics, his body will be older and he could probably never replicate his hero status again. At the age of 23, Michael Phelps had achieved everything he desired. Following his rise to fame and his status as history’s greatest Olympian, we saw his very public fall from grace when photos of him doing drugs surfaced.

History tells us that Alexander the great, King of Greece in the times before Christ, had conquered his known world by the age of 28 and wept bitterly because achieving his goals and dreams didn’t give him whatever it was that he was looking for. Repeatedly both in pop culture and throughout history, we view icons of sports, fashion, government, and music with awe and wonder, never realizing the sorrow that many of them feel once they have achieved everything they set out within themselves to achieve. The demons of self have the ability to torture both the great achievers and the under reachers. Drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and depression run rampant in the lives of those striving to achieve great things in this life. Countless examples could be shared of those with great wealth and fame who have not found happiness, and sadly, have taken their own lives through suicide or drug overdose when they discover that the glittery pull of self centered, pleasure seeking lives bring with them no earthly reward.

The Bible tells us that life is a race. This race isn’t about who crosses the finish line first, but rather about who is able to endure to the end. Our goal is not to pick up a gold medal and put it across our necks, but rather to take up a wooden, rugged cross, and put it on our backs. The apostle Paul tells us that bodily exercise profits little. This isn’t to say that God doesn’t want us to have healthy, physically fit bodies, but instead to not let the goals and achievements of this life overshadow our eternal purpose. Through our human eyes, the gold is much more attractive than splintered wood, but we are called to serve. Matthew 10:39(NIV) tells us “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” There is no life without Christ. Sure, you breathe oxygen in and expel Carbon dioxide out, but that isn’t truly living.

Are you willing to be an Olympian for Christ? Are you willing to stand in the ranks of Saints, who like Lindsay Vonn in the physical, stood up in the spiritual with a cross instead of a medal and say “I gave up everything for this”? No one ever won a gold medal without intense dedication and the constant denial of self. The same can be said for winning the ultimate prize, eternal life. Purpose in your heart today to take up your cross, follow Jesus, and get some endurance in your spirit. You will not be disappointed if this is the path you take!

Behold I Make All Things New

Rev 21:3-6 (KJV)
3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. 6 And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.

As we embarked on a new year a couple of weeks ago, and even better, a new decade, it is human nature to assess where we’ve been and where we are going. The beauty and very nature of the gospel was to make all things new. To take darkness and make it light. To take a sin stained life of scarlet and make it white as snow. You are playing a key role in ensuring that the the people that you come into contact with can move forward spiritually. The only direction that we should be following Christ is forward. If we are going backward, then surely Christ isn’t our guide. Although not a very deep thought when pondered, it is oftentimes difficult to truly grasp and believe that your past is over. Yesterday is gone. Today and this moment is what counts.

With the promises of change echoing in the halls of parliament and demands for revolution in our government structure, what better time is there to share with the world change that they can really believe in? No other product can promise beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, and dancing in the place of sorrows. If you have fallen behind in your commitments, now is the time to make all things new and begin fresh again. If you have been faithful in your commitments, keep standing. You are God’s hands and feet to share the gospel. Let it be your resolution from this point onward to be an active participant in the great commission!