Fasting

I am not afraid to admit that fasting is my least favorite spiritual discipline. With all of the decadence that surrounds me every time I leave the house, a simple trip to the post office can make my best fasting aspirations falter. Who even knew that Smokey Bones, Famous Dave’s, and even Burger King really smelled that good in the air wafting from restaurant to enclosed car with lightening speed? Smells, sounds, and environmental factors that I don’t even notice on an average day, call out to me when I choose to fast. For a few years I justified my struggle with fasting declaring to myself that fasting is a spiritual gift that some people are just better at than others. While to a degree this may be true, this logic was as faulty as saying exercise isn’t good for everyone, just some. We know that people with health issues, pregnant ladies, and diabetics have to streamline their fasting and use wisdom, but for the rest of us average saints, we really don’t have very many excuses to offer up to God that are legitimate.

I was decent at fasting as a teenager and in my early twenties. In fact, every week I went a minimum of one 24 hour period without food and liquid except water and embarked on my first prolonged fast without food and liquid except water in my very early twenties. I was shocked to find that going 3 plus days with nothing but water really wasn’t as hard as I had imagined. Sure, it was no picnic in the park and sure I wasn’t the most energetic human during these time periods, but I discovered I could do it! Jonathan and I began a tradition of beginning our new years with a prolonged fast, a tradition that we continue and lead our church to do, and I was excited. When I turned 24, I got pregnant with my first child and fasting took a back seat. I do not think it is wise for pregnant women to abstain from food. This may just be my opinion, but I think that God had no problems with that. I went straight from pregnancy to nursing and anyone that has nursed can attest to the fact that your appetite could beat out any Olympic athlete’s appetite. After this period of 2 years of pregnancy and nursing, I found that fasting became the unwanted friend again in my life. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I began to incorporate the weekly 24 hour fast into my life again, but I just couldn’t get back in the swing of extended fasting. Thankfully for me and my flesh, I got pregnant again. Whew!! I was justified. Another two year period of pregnancy and nursing had saved me from this spiritual discipline.

While this blog was not intended to be a confessional, I guess it has become one. I just want to encourage people that it is normal and even okay to struggle sometimes. We are human!!! I was inspired for this blog by my Bible reading this morning. While reading in Genesis, I was struck with a series of verses that I have read numerous times before and that had not stood out to me like they did today. Hagar, Sarah’s maid and Abraham’s mistress was able to say to God, “You see me and I see you”!! She called the spring where she had cried out to God “the God who sees me spring”. This simple revelation by a lowly member of society, a mere maid, who was not only a maid but a fornicator and the incubator for an illegitimate child made me realize that God sees me and all of my randomness. He knows all my insecurities, he knows all my struggles and yet, He sees me! He cares!

I am convinced that this scripture stood out to me because this confessional has a happy ending. The word of God becomes alive and organic in your life and heart when you’re dedicated to spiritual disciplines. I decided at the end of 2009 that I was tired of my excuses and I was tired of just fasting one day a week and that in 2010 I was going to reinstitute a strict fasting discipline in my life. My goal this year is to fast 3-5 day stretches at a time every single month in addition to my day a week. You don’t have to be Moses or Jesus and go 40 day stretches. Fasts like those have to be divinely and spiritually inspired and led and really ought to be under a Doctor’s supervision. I’m happy to say that God has proved himself in these time periods of 3-5 days. It has been unreal to me the doors He has opened, the scriptures He has shown me, and the way my spirit has been overwhelmed. I have had more spontaneous Bible studies with strangers in random places than I have had in years. This, as a side note, works out quite well in my favor since we are starting a church. I have been amazed at the doors to the unchurched that have been opened to me. Certainly giving up that Chipotle Burrito Bowl a few days a month has been worth the God encounters I have had.

I can’t explain to you in the physical why fasting works. It really makes no sense except that studies have proven that people that incorporate fasting into their lives live longer, healthier, and happier. God has a really funny way of proving things in the physical that we should already know in the spiritual. The key to fasting is simple, you must read your bible, pray, and be constantly meditating. If you don’t do these things, fasting is nothing but a way to be really hungry, tired, and crabby. It seems simple, but trust me; I’ve tried a three day fast in which I didn’t pray anymore than I do on a normal day. It was crazy. I justified it because my two toddlers are constantly harassing me and if you think prolonged periods of intercessory prayer are easy when you’re alone with 2 little boys 24/7, you’ve got something else coming! I made a pact with God in addition to my fasting pact in 2010 that my bible reading and prayer life would also improve. They have! God is addicting. The Bible is addicting. Prayer is addicting. Fasting is addicting. I promise. I didn’t believe it either until I had tried. That is why in the book of Acts they said they were “addicted” to the ministry of the saints. I believe it! It is like crack. Go several days having the power of God manifest in your life and prove my point. You’ll never go back to ordinary. I’m 25% of the way through reading my bible cover to cover for the 2nd time this year. From now on, I’m never just going to read my bible through once a year. I use to find this acceptable in my life. No more.

Ministering to and loving others is amazingly easy when it is an overflow of a well of joy that you have dug up in your own life. I challenge you to go beyond ordinary. Really become radical and God will show you, He really is the God who sees! He sees you, now go out and make it a point in your life to really see Him.

As a side note: The book "Fasting" by Jentzen Franklin is a great read explaining reasons for, types of, and ways to fast.

Mother's Day 2010

May the 7^th is a day that holds special significance and meaning to me. True, there are some years where it has an even deeper meaning than others, but for at least 5 years, it has been a day filled with a tornado of emotions. May 7, 2005 was the year that this date changed forever for me. It was at 2AM on May 7, 2005 that I began to go into labor for my first child, my firstborn son Reese. If you know our family dates, you are probably scratching your head because Reese’s birthday isn’t until May 8. Reese decided to show us his strong will early on. The labor started at 2 AM on May 7 and Reese wasn’t delivered until 10:59 PM May 8. Looking back though at those two treacherous days, I have to smile. A part of me feels that this was all a part of Reese’s master plan. You see, May 8, 2005 was mother’s day. That strong will of his is also masked in an unbelievably thoughtful, loving, kind, charming, and intelligent boy. He wanted his mommy to have the best first mother’s day gift ever, the life of my first child, him.

It really was a date for the record books. I had gone into the hospital on May 7 early in the morning and they tracked my contractions all day then sent me home because the labor was going so slowly. Because my husband is a pastor and Mother’s Day is one of those “big”, “significant” church Sunday’s; he did not feel like he should miss the Sunday Morning service. My water had already broken and I had already had two days worth of contractions, and yet I gave him the green light to attend service and speak that morning. He had his cell phone sitting on the podium, waiting for that desperate plea from me that I can’t take it anymore. In retrospect, this was a horrible decision! What if I had delivered Reese at home with no one to help me? It could’ve happened. My water had already broken. I suppose they would’ve just done a TLC reality show special on me if that had happened. Who could’ve predicted such an eventful first mother’s day?

Mother’s Day has always been an extraordinary day for me. For the past 30 years, I have been blessed to have a mother. 30 years ago on April 23, 1980, she gave birth to me, with no pain control medication might I add, and has stuck by my side through the whole ride. Now, as a mother myself, I can see all of the small sacrifices that were hidden from me before. It reminds me of the bible verse that says; “Now we see through a glass darkly, but soon we’ll see.” As children we go through life seeing things, but not really recognizing them. As a mother that was blessed to also have a mother, things have become clear to me in ways that were before, at best, hazy. Who really knew how much work the daily grind of life could be for a mother? Every time my kids fight me about bedtime or cleaning up their toys, I can only be so irritated. It was a mere few decades ago that I was that child testing my independence.

Being a parent, or being an adult that is heavily and lovingly involved in the life of a child is the best representation of Christianity on this earth that I can think of. In a society that keeps blurring the lines of what family really is and what it means to be a family, I’m thankful for the example of a heavenly father on the correct way to treat my children. As mother’s, society still puts most of the pressure of running a household on us. We are expected to be educated with multiple college degrees, hold exciting jobs, move up the career ladder, and still produce children that we singlehandedly care for while juggling homes, careers, significant others, and we are to do this while looking physically fit, gorgeous, put together, stylish, and even sexy! We really face a lot of pressure as women and mothers in this 21^st century world. Even though I view myself as a quasi-feminist in that I believe women should be educated, should have equal employment opportunities, and should receive equal pay for the stuff they do, I can’t help but think life would be simpler if we could return to the era of a one income household. In our quest as women to be viewed as equals in society, we have actually somehow made it so that we aren’t equals at all. In fact, we are expected to be super mom and super women, while the men are just expected to do what they’ve always done. Go to work, bring home money, mow the lawn, and watch sports. The purpose of this blog is not to bash men. In fact, my husband is amazing and I can’t imagine doing life without him. I can’t imagine parenting without him. He goes above and beyond societies expectation for dads and he’s a real father. I appreciate all men that fill that role. The purpose of this blog is to honor women that play a significant role in the life of children. You are a hero!

Whether you are a mother because you conceived and bore a child or because you adopted one as your own or because you have stepped into the life of the children in your community to love, nurture, and grow them, your impact on their life will be unparalleled. There is nothing like the love of a mother when it is displayed in all its glory and in its purest and most natural state. Too often in the Christian world we think of God in all the masculine roles that he plays. He has been given the name Heavenly Father, and while that is a biblical term and while he plays that role, let us not forget that in Genesis it states that both male and female were created in his image. We need to celebrate that through our job as mom, we are displaying the love of Christ and the image of who God is in our children. God’s comfort holds us like a mother’s arms when we fall and it is through his mercy and grace that we can identify our propensity to overlook the faults of our children and defend and encourage them.

Know this mother’s day weekend, that your role as mom is literally fundamental in shaping the next generation of leaders. Your degrees and education and careers and goals can all find harmony in your role as mom. I don’t believe being a mom is an either or choice. I’ll either be a mom or I’ll pursue my goals. They can line up together. Celebrate the life of your children and the lives of the children around you that you impact and know that every time you see a successful adult it is because somebody took the time to sew seeds into their life as a child.

Dedicated to: Reese Bentley Buckland (May 8, 2005) and Gentry Jonathan Buckland (December 11, 2007) who made me a mother and gave me the greatest title I’ll ever hold and to Donna Lynn Whitmore Bentley (Mother) who gave me the chance at life.